Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Brat Camp: I Need My Mommy!

Brat Camp's, episode 5, most pathetic episode to date. They start another hike a little Derek is acting like a brat. He has no energy again and waits to be helped for every little thing, Lauren calls him out on it. They all hike better than before but Derek keeps holding them back. At the end of the hike they get a surprise 3-day solo mission. The counselors are most worried about Lexie and hope Jada is going to grow through this.
During their first over night Derek cries and whines "I need my mommy" and "Why mommy why?" little wuss. Frank wants to cuddle up in his sleeping bag. When the morning comes they all survive and some are Writing letters. Jada, the superstar, is singing her crappy song into the camera. She admits her parents are "such suckers" and write a letter full of lies.
Jada's parents at home receive the letter and believe it all, the tears, the dying and the backbreaking. Heathers parents don't really love her because she's adopted and want her away at boarding school.
Lexie, the one with real problems, has a panic attack and blows an emergency whistle. Fake-Indian "Glacier" comforts her and admits a neighbor molested him and he didn't deal with it until he was 20.
They end their Solo and find a circle of jerks with face paint. Those damned fake-Indian staff of Sagewalk are having a sacred Native American naming ceremony. The undeserving brats are given a fake symbolic name.
Frank-Reluctant Bison Charging -because he acts like an angry bison.
Heather-Painted Butterfly -because she's a softee.
Derek-Emerging Frog -because he's a tadpole about to grow.
Isaiah-Obsidian Snow Leopard -because he gets laughed at and fights back.
Lauren-Flying Fire Fox -because Flying Internet Explorer was taken.
Jada-Spring Robin Screaming and she hates the whole stupid idea, bless her.
Nick-Inisghtful Young Hawk -because it's a good porno title and he still has the Herpes on his face.
Shawn-River Carving Canyon -because he can't pee straight.
Glacier gives his pouch to Lexie, it's symbolic and touching, and names her Insightful Fawn Growing, she is touched....no, not like that you sicko.
Everyone learned from this experience except my girl Jada who plans to lie her way back home.
Fade to black role credits and more Jada singing.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Mo' Money Links

Mo" Money

TV is educational. If you can't learn something everyday your box is broken.