TV Guide: Aug. 7-13

Yes, no double covers no special collector issue just the one. CSI: Miami Exclusive Sneak Peek is on the cover along with Emily Proctor & David Caruso. A five-page article accompanies this picture. I'm not a fan of the CSI's so I skipped it but I did see Eva LaRue formally of All My Children will play a new "sexy grant writer".

Good things to read inside:

• Brat Camp will send either Lauren, Lexie, Isaiah or Shawn home for Christmas.
• Last episode of Queer As Folk Sunday.
• Shaq will stand next to Joe Rogan for a family episode of Fear Factor.
• Peter Krause of Six Feet Under wasn't surprised when he died, Alan Ball the creator wanted it from season 1, he's back as the undead-Nate for all 3 final episodes, he'll miss Micheal C. Hall and Rachel Griffiths the most. He played Bobby McFerrin's version of Blackbird for closure and we'll see a crow when his name is shown at the credits.
• Gilmore Girls pest Jess is back for at least 1 episode.
• A small tribute to James Doohan.
• Geeks at Comic-Con mingle with stars. A new season of Justice League Unlimited will feature the Citadel of Doom, a cabal of supervillians.
• Bryan Singer discusses House.
• Cool shades.
• An article on Feds vs. TV.
• Leah Remini gets paid equally by the pound like her co-star, A couple of Buffy stars will be on Veronica Mars.
• Weeds gets trashed by Roush.
• Some crappy TV quiz.
• The Dead Zone will continue the Armageddon storyline.
• Kelly Monaco will learn to dance on General Hospital.
• Too Late with Adam Carolla, Monday.
  

Wonderfalls: Pilot

This episode is also known as "Wax Lion", it took me almost 2 years and 5 TiVo tries to watch this episode. For the last few days everytime TiVo tried to record this episode the cable channel LOGO was cut or off-air, it may be a Republican conspiracy. I've now watched this episode thrice and I know why it failed, more on that later.
24 year old Jaye Tyler played by the bi-lingual Caroline Dhavernas is working as a cashier in a Niagara fall souvenir shop. She has a philosophy degree from Brown and chose to do nothing with her life. A high schooler, "mouth breather", is her boss, her best friend is a cool black chick and she has a closeted-lesbian sister, a jerky brother, a snooty mom and a psychiatrist father.
After having a customer be rude with her she steps outside and chokes on a sandwich, finds a quarter, throws it at the Maid of the Mist statue it bounces off both their heads and glows in the wishing fountain.
The story of Niagara of the statue was given by explaining that a Native tribe was giving gifts to the god in the falls and upped the ante to the chiefs hot daughter, the god was so happy he vowed to protect the area forever.
After her near death experience she returns to the shop where the rude customer tried to return a defective wax lion and the lion warned her against giving the rude-one her 10% discount. Jaye does anyway and the rude-one gets mugged. Jaye then faints.
At her trailer park home her family rallies and makes her feel worse. She goes to a therapy and steals the doctor's brass monkey, that monkey monkey, because it told her to. At her bar hang out she meets a new recently dumped bartender and they flirt. Back at work the delivery guy is her next wax lion target and she follows him to a squaking quarter, it leads to the purse of the rude-one. She tries returning the purse to the rude-one and gets in a fight instead. Her sister bails her out and all she got was a small thank you.
The next day wax lion forces her to set-up a blind date with delivery guy and sister. The date goes horribly wrong and the sister is outed as a lesbian. This brings Jaye and her sister closer together and everyone involved has a new love interest. The next day Jaye is happy until a barrel bear hints that she should help another women at the fountain.
The entire series is now available here Wonderfalls on DVD.

Best banter of the show:
Black chick: ".... like when the Native Americans,"
Jaye: "Indians!"
Black chick: "Like when Indians say."

I got the second episode on TiVo and will watch it soon.
Now the reason that this show failed was the special effects, yup, Sabrina the Teenage Witch used an obviously fake cat but it did exist. Wonderfalls used CGI computer effects and that has never worked outside from sci-fi, Lost should be warned that smoke-monster was not good. That and the premise conflicted with Joan of Arcadia. Also in not just animal figurines that talk to her it's anything that has an animal on it, like the squawking quarter.

Brat Camp: I Need My Mommy!

Brat Camp's, episode 5, most pathetic episode to date. They start another hike a little Derek is acting like a brat. He has no energy again and waits to be helped for every little thing, Lauren calls him out on it. They all hike better than before but Derek keeps holding them back. At the end of the hike they get a surprise 3-day solo mission. The counselors are most worried about Lexie and hope Jada is going to grow through this.
During their first over night Derek cries and whines "I need my mommy" and "Why mommy why?" little wuss. Frank wants to cuddle up in his sleeping bag. When the morning comes they all survive and some are Writing letters. Jada, the superstar, is singing her crappy song into the camera. She admits her parents are "such suckers" and write a letter full of lies.
Jada's parents at home receive the letter and believe it all, the tears, the dying and the backbreaking. Heathers parents don't really love her because she's adopted and want her away at boarding school.
Lexie, the one with real problems, has a panic attack and blows an emergency whistle. Fake-Indian "Glacier" comforts her and admits a neighbor molested him and he didn't deal with it until he was 20.
They end their Solo and find a circle of jerks with face paint. Those damned fake-Indian staff of Sagewalk are having a sacred Native American naming ceremony. The undeserving brats are given a fake symbolic name.
Frank-Reluctant Bison Charging -because he acts like an angry bison.
Heather-Painted Butterfly -because she's a softee.
Derek-Emerging Frog -because he's a tadpole about to grow.
Isaiah-Obsidian Snow Leopard -because he gets laughed at and fights back.
Lauren-Flying Fire Fox -because Flying Internet Explorer was taken.
Jada-Spring Robin Screaming and she hates the whole stupid idea, bless her.
Nick-Inisghtful Young Hawk -because it's a good porno title and he still has the Herpes on his face.
Shawn-River Carving Canyon -because he can't pee straight.
Glacier gives his pouch to Lexie, it's symbolic and touching, and names her Insightful Fawn Growing, she is touched....no, not like that you sicko.
Everyone learned from this experience except my girl Jada who plans to lie her way back home.
Fade to black role credits and more Jada singing.

Lost Letter

Via email updates:

Dear Frequent Flyer -

Greeting from the writers' room of Lost!

Even though production has only just begun on the sandy shores of O'ahu (as well as the lush jungles of O'ahu, and the mysterious sound stages of O'ahu), the writers' room has been working overtime for several months to turn the overarching visions of the show's creators into episodic teleplays.

The writers' room is one of the main hubs of creative activity on Lost. To anyone on the outside it probably looks like an ordinary conference room, albeit one festooned with white boards and memorabilia.

One wall, for example is decorated with head shots of the cast. Another features the "Lost Survivors Count" where we keep a running track of the characters who have died on the series. Others are decorated with maps and posters of islands and beaches to keep us in the tropical mood (not a lot of white sand and clear water in sunny downtown Burbank -- but then again, not a lot of invisible monsters either).

But the nexus of the writers' room are the four massive white boards that span the length of the space. On these boards, we plot out not only the broad strokes of the entire year, but also the individual episodes, down to acts, scenes and beats, in an exhaustive process designed to bring the best out of every idea.

Several scripts have already been completed and are in the pre-production process, with many more in the pipeline. To give you a taste, here is an exclusive glance at the titles and writers of our first three episodes:

Episode One:
"Man of Science, Man of Faith" written by Damon Lindelof

Episode Two:
"Adrift" written by Steven Maeda & Leonard Dick

Episode Three:
"Orientation" written by Javier Grillo-Marxuach & Craig Wright

- and this is only the beginning!

Thanks for getting Lost with us!

If you care my favorite Lost website is Lost Links at http://www.lostlinks.net/. It's probably the best on the web that I've found. But I subscribe to the newsletter from ABC to get this update.

Sci-Fi Sunday?

More uneven episodes of the USA networks attempt at Sci-Fi.
The 4400:
A nurse named Edwin Mayuya abducted Feb. 24, 1996 works at a hospital and has the power to heal babies in-utero and uses it until he gets caught. The press gets a hold of his story and plasters his picture everywhere. When an old African woman sees his face she screams and tells her granddaughter "that is the man who killed your parents" . The Agency takes Edwin and researches his background. He admits during a genocide in his nation he was in charge of a triage center and let the opposing troops come in and kill the enemy. After much debate with the self-righteous Agent Tom on what to do with him they find out he's dying with each child he genetically cures. The Agency ends up turning him over to the Collier-Cult and Edwin decides to keep using his gift even though it's killing him.
Richard Tyler gets the news that one of his old soldier buddies died. They meet up and reminisce over a Budweiser commercial for there retro cans and good old racism. The one guy who beat him up for being with a white woman on the night he disappeared is not there. He visits the racist and finds him lonely sick and still racist.
Also Kyle is about to crack and Agent Diana makes up with her sister after she used Maia last week.
The Dead Zone:
Bruce, Johnny's physical therapist, is happy to be on a date with a successfully black woman in Maine until Johnny ruins that. A car accident kills a mother leaving Johnny with a baby. The problem is the baby is Mexican and destined for the typical evil-gang-Mexican life if Johnny doesn't find his father. While trying to find the baby's daddy Johnny has to deal with an Evil-Mexican woman and her gang trying to continue their smuggling ring. As usual everything ends up great and daddy and baby reunite. Now if Johnny can only see a way to close the Mexican border that would be cool.
Lourdes Benedicto who is a proud New Yorker born of Filipino and Dominican parents is once again playing a dirty Mexican, if she ever comes across this please play a good Hispanic and stop playing those low Latina roles.

Six Feet Under : NATE'S DEAD

Nathaniel Samuel Fisher, Jr.
1965-2005

But first on "Ecotone" we have a guy on a valley trail getting mauled to death by a cougar.
After Nate collapsed he is whisked away in an ambulance to the hospital Maggie calls David first and ask him to call Brenda which he does.
Claire has dinner with her co-worker and finds out he rightfully supports the war in Iraq she starts freaking out calling him a Redneck Blogger Pig, then interrupted by the David's phone call both of them get to the hospital.
While at the hospital the doctors confuse Maggie with Mrs. Fisher. We learn that Nate has gotten a new AVM(ateriovenous malformations) and must be operated on.
Ruth doesn't do Hiram and walks out, he gets upset and suggest next time to be a sport and rub one out for fun. She leaves and imagines shooting all her ex-lovers on the trail. She meets some Asians and breaks their calm but on the bus ride home they give her some love advice.
After successful surgery Nate dumps Brenda.
David and Keith's younger kid acts-up in the hospital and David finds out it's because he has bad memories of his mom going in and out for drug overdoses.
Rico and Vanessa air out more feelings on their road to healing.
Nate's roommate is Chuck an elderly Buddhist is cool and turns up the TV while David and Nate relax, seeing the bird images on TV Nate dreams of an alternate-beach-bum David and going to the beach. While running into the ocean Nate joins his father forever. Back in the waking world David sees Nate flatline and we see...

Nathaniel Samuel Fisher, Jr.
1965-2005

During next weeks preview we see everyone preparing for the funeral and Brenda not sure what Nate wanted for his funeral. TiVo has next weeks episode listed as Nate challenges Brenda. but seeing how they often talk to the dead on this show it means little.
Great episode but I was hoping Ruth would get mauled by a cougar.

TV Guide: July 31-Aug 6

Don't be fooled although it doesn't say collectors issue there are two covers for this week's TV Guide. The one I have has Ultimate Guide Law & Order on it with Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay on the cover. I believe the other has Danica Patrick on it and says Danica Manica. For Danica fans there is a 3-page article about her and the Firestone Indy 400. For Law & Order fans there is a 7-page article including A-Z facts and a quiz.
Meloni and Hargitay both agree an on screen hook up is a bad idea. Off-screen however the have been on vacation together with their husbands and wives, they also joke of doing it twice just to get over the tension. They admit healthy competition between the other Law & Orders even though SVU(Special Victims Unit) is number one in the ratings. They're bound to do two more years and Hargitay thinks she is destined for comedy. When asked if they'd hook up in the last episode Meloni says no and Hargitay says she wants at least one make out scene before it's over.
Some L&O(Law & Order) facts...

1. All the shows combined sans commercials are 432.75 hours long.
2. Guardian ad litem is the chile rep. for those court scenes.
3. "Jorge, Sunday in the Park With" the only L&O episodes never to be re-aired on NBC. Because the Puerto Rican community would be offended, hmmm NBC, shade of Seinfeld.
4. "Life Choice" an episode involving abortions and bombing wasn't re-aired until 11 years later and cost NBC $800,000 in ads.
5. John Munch played by Richard Belzer was on 3 different networks playing the same character, this show X-files and The Beat on UPN.
6. Matt Damon played a off-screen voice in L&O CI(Criminal Intent).
7. L&O will beat Gunsmoke as the longest running drama in 2010.
8. Steve Zirnkilton the voice over in the beginning of SVU and CI.
9. More fun facts in this issue.
   

Good things to read inside:

• People still complaining about Kelly Monaco's win.
• Ashley Judd visits Africa for AIDS and VH1.
• Chappelle Show is done according to Charlie Murphy who is holding out for the DVD.
• LL Cool J will be dying on House.
• A tour of the Lost locales.
• They Jeered Big Brother 6, rightfully so.
• They renewed The Closer.
• Gary Cole on Wanted on TNT.
• J. Simpson in Dukes of Hazzard and the Stars and Bars debate.
  

Don't worry Clay Aiken fans I don't see any TV Guide Gay Aiken references this issue.

Sci-Fi Friday: July 29

Stargate SG-1:
The conclusion to last week's conclusion has Dr. Jackson and Vala confronting the Ancients weird uncles the Ori. The Ori are ascended Ancients who believe that they must share the secrets of the universe and total obedience. Before being burned alive again Vala and Jackson get disconnected to the their borrowed bodies and the real inhabitants are burned instead.
We meet Louis Gossett Jr. as Gerak an hard nosed leader of the Jaffa who wants non-human help for his people.
O'Neill makes an appearence in the final mintue to lift up Mitchell's spirit.

Stargate Atlantis:
After going on a greenhouse planet the team discovers a dead Wraith. This leads to them hunting two runners, one is good ole Ford and the other a new guy named Tyr Anasazi Donnon Rex. Ford now has a personality, we see it when him and cowardly McKay walk around in search of other team members who were kidnapped by Rex.
Rex is a "runner" who is being hunted by the Wraith. He has a tracker in his back and they convince the doc to take it out in cold blood.
After a little nuttiness from Ford he gets in a fight with Dex it was a draw. Lt. Col. Sheppard shot Ford but that did nothing and he jumped into the Wraith's version of a transporter beam and was gone.

Battlestar Galactica:
Dr. Baltar overcomes his cowardness to be a hero in those episode after saving a soldier from another and taking charge after all his soldiers are put in a bad position.
Madam President is still in lock up and slightly mad but still spins the media enough to become a self-proclaimed prophet.

Firefly:
The naked chick is Simon's sister who is government property and altered in an unknown way.(If you've seen the movie trailer a hint of what she really is was given. Meanwhile they all are frozen in fear when a Reaver ship shows up, Reavers are cannibal nomadic humans from space.

Brat Camp: Faked

Not fixed like Kelly Monaco's win on Dancing With Stars but not true to the timeline.
This episode of ABC's Brat Camp starts off on day 21, 17 days until Christmas. They are doing their ritual of the morning they gather the camping equipment and fold it up neatly within 5-minutes. The brats had yet to succeed until today they finished with 30 seconds to spare.
Soon their happiness ended as cold rain started making the snow on the ground wet, heavy and muddy. Lexie, the only person with any real problems, is wallowing in the mud and the fake-Indian staff tries to motivate her. During her one-on-one with the shrink she admits she doesn't believe she's worthy of praise or love, after being molested by a family friend.
While all this was happening Nick 14, Seattle,WA had a small spot on his face like always.
Now they are all blindfolded and led to Smith Rock a beautiful cliff over looking a river valley. They are told they are going to repel down the side of the mini-cliff but will not be forced to do so. Jada, the best, quickly volunteers to go repel first and after 1,000 "Oh my God" she safely makes it to the bottom. Lauren is next and so on until little Derek. Derek had nervous energy at the top pacing back and forth, but when he is strapped in the harness the boy freezes admitting he's scared. Although the staff tried everything short of forcing him, which they would of if it wasn't for the cameras, Derek quits. Lexie is up and freaks out she crys for a while and gets down the cliff crying all the way, showing some courage since she fears everything.
While all this was happening Nick 14, Seattle,WA had a huge red and crusty spot on his face that seemed to be partially covered in ointment.
Lauren 17, Davis,CA is breaking down because December is the time of year her father died when she was 11 years old. Her father was buried on Christmas Eve andshe is constantly here his voice in her head as she asks god why. This is the reason she claims to to drugs to get the voices out of her head.
Next it is day 25 and the brats must learn primitive fire using a bow and wooden drill to light dry brush. Isaiah 17, Winton,CA and the white-jock-fake-Indian that calls himself "Fire Shaper" are getting on each others nerve. Isaiah is a fire bug and as one likes to burn things so he's put in charge of the fire. They all learn the techniques of bow-rilling and the first to make fire....Isaiah.
The rest follow suit except for Nick.
While all this was happening Nick 14, Seattle,WA had a small spot on his face that seemed to be slightly dirty.
Nick is dyslexic but more than that he's also stupid not knowing how to multiply 5 and 3 to get 15. Since he's dyslexic and with a weak mother he has not been forced to learn, making him dumber than your average dyslexic. He also pulled a knife on his nerdy twin brother. Jada on the other hand finds him cute and loves his pinchable cheeks and also finds him stupid. After everyone laughs at his stupidity the staff encourages him not to give up on making fire. While the first sparks of Nicks fire start you notice a bright red injury to his cheek.
The next the campers do is receive beads of honor for what they accomplished, Lexie got one for conquering her fear of heights and Nick got one for not giving up. More bead s may be given in future episodes.

Now Nick's cheek coloring must of happened during the middle of the fire making because when they stared he did not have and when they finished during the beading he also didn't have it. It could have been dirt or an injury but it is clear that it jumped around every commercial break meaning the timeline wasn't kept. Now that I noticed it I look for it throughout future episodes.

I'm Tivo Late

Thanks to TiVo I just watched The 4400 and The Dead Zone if it wasn't for TiVo I'd have to suffer through these shows at 100 degrees, 100 percent humidity and their thin plots.
The 4400:
Sherilyn Fenn played a returnee from October 1999 with the ability to grow killer spores from her hands when she is stressed. She is also mentally unstable. Everyone around her dies including birds. When confronted by Agent Tom and Diane she starts to spore-out and while Tom is trying to calm her down Diane shoots her dead.
Maia feeling used by her new aunt sets her up on a sports bet. Her new aunt bets a family ring and realizes she crushed Maia's spirit when yelling at her.
Kyle remembers everything about his blackouts and shooting Collier, meanwhile the Agency is closing in on the shooter.
The official website says that Lily was introducing daughters to each other carefully and slowly but I don't recall any of this I guess they're pushing it back.

The Dead Zone:
The funniest part was the first scene where Johnny Smith enters a bar walking arm in arm with Sarah Bannerman's as her husband Walt is behind them watching.
This copy of Eddie and the Cruisers has Sarah forcing Johnny to help find Darren Foldes, a young rocker, find his dead dad. Foldes is played by Ben Foster who made a return on Six Feet Under on the same night. Even his one of the not-so-dead-dad's most famous song is called Six Feet Under. Smith as usual makes everything alright by reuniting the lost family.

I don't like all the fact that the 4400 is becoming a freak of the week show. Almost half of the "featured" 4400's have died and they even mentioned some not featured have died. Why would people from the future put people back in time if they're going to die within the first year. Not to mention that the past can't be changed, but that's just the engineer in me making sense of TV.

On The Dead Zone they have dropped the secret society and doomsday storyline, most likely only until the season finale episodes. It's kinda of boring when they do regular episodes.

Six Feet Under

"Singing For Our Lives" was the name of this season defining episode of Six Feet Under. All of the characters get to a calm and happy stage of their lives, except for Nate. A planned expansion of Fishers and Diaz gets stalled because of three opposing opinions. Nate wants eco-friendly green funerals, David wants a crematorium and Rico wants another Spanish speaker.
After sneaking into their foster brats school play last week the older brat pulls a knife on Keith he removes all sharp objects and becomes more patient and understanding. Keith learns that the reason the older kid is acting up is because he is sure that the home is only temporary. During a plastic knife dinner everyone is calm and growing close.
While Rico talks to dead people the dead Mexican tells him to drop hie Puerto Rican wife and get a Mexican because the very subservient and easily controlled not strong like Real Hispanics. Rico goes back home to confront Vanessa and she finally breaks down and say she loves him but may never get over the affair. So they laugh and go out for dinner.
Ruth finds Hiram(Ed Begley Jr.) after a four year absence and they get it on.
Claire takes office guy to an art exhibit and meets everyone from her past and feels fine after seeing how no one has grown and her ex Russell(Ben Foster) is still a psycho who goes nuts in the gallery.
Nate, Nate, Nate he forces Brenda to go to the Quaker church and leaves her high and dry while he sleeps with Maggie, George's daughter, very religious of her. After the deed he has an attack and faints. No next week episode preview and all TiVo says is "Nate brings the family together", kind of cryptic.
HBO, the writers or whomever all have really started to pull it the show together.